A couple of weeks ago one of the ceiling lights in the hallway began to flicker. I found the step stool, removed the shade. Inside was an unfamiliar shaped fluorescent tube which I now know is a dual-tube 13-watt, 27 lumen compact fluorescent (CF) model. The brand was unknown to me and I thought, oh-oh, this will be impossible to replace, which was unfortunate because I realized we had at least ten other ceiling fixtures with these same odd little bulbs, including one in our walk-in closet that hums every time we turn it on. Despite my belief that I was on a futile quest, I drove over to Rona Building Supply and to my surprise, there were several of these little bulbs on the shelf. Some were the right wattage but too long; others the right length but the wrong wattage. I selected two lower wattage bulbs @ $10 each and brought them home. Up on the step stool, I tried without success to insert the bulb into the fixture; no matter how hard I forced, the bulb refused to seat properly. Meanwhile, a second bulb in the hallway began to flicker.
I called the store. Grant, the helpful lighting associate, retrieved my old bulb from his wastebasket and said he could order me the correct one. It would be a different brand, but should would work fine. Great, Grant, go ahead and while you’re at it, order nine of them.
A week later I called the store. Another associate looked up my order. No one called you? he asked. No, I told him. Well, they’re here. Come and get them. I drove to the store, asked for my order. The cashier couldn’t locate them, then called Grant, who also looked and couldn’t find them. He apologized and said his fellow associate shouldn’t have relied on the computer before he told me to come down. I left without my bulbs.
By the time I arrived home, Rona had called and told me the bulbs were there after all, in Receiving. I drove back to the store. A different cashier got my bulbs. They were the wrong ones. Grant came and we spent the next fifteen minutes looking at miniature images of compact fluorescent units in supplier catalogs. Again many were the right wattage but the base seemed was wrong. Tell you what, said Grant, take one of these home, try it and if the base fits, I can order you the proper length.
Back home, I climbed the stool once more. The bulb fit into the fixture but was over an inch too long for the shade. I called Grant. We’re in business. All-righty, I’ve got 34 in Calgary, I’ll get your order in right away and call you when they arrive. Indeed, a couple of days later, nine bulbs of the correct length with the proper ends arrived. I replaced the two in the hallway and while I was at it, went after the hummer in the closet. To no avail. Even with a new bulb, the fixture hums.
I just took a look at the dining room fixture. That sucker has weird-shaped bulbs too. Last night I went to turn on the lamp by my desk. It crackled and burnt out. Damn, it’s a forty-watt bulb and we don’t have any of those.




